Some people will always put you down. It could be in overt ways or in not-so-overt ways. A slight dig here. A roll of the eyes there. Apart they may seem harmless, but pile them up. Add them together and you get a sum that equals an infuriatingly, frustrating can of negativity. For me, in my growth as a storyteller (and as a person), I dealt with these negative vibes very differently in my life.
My first reaction, probably when I was first starting to write, direct and act (Yikes!) was to turn away from it and give up. To use a silly example, let's take a situation and see how my reaction to it progressed over the years.
Situation: I greet some friends of mine and declare: "I'm going to learn how to skateboard." To which one of my friends responds, "Seriously? Are you sure? The odds are against you mastering it."
Reaction #1: I say, "You're right. I guess I was just kidding myself." I just stopped the pursuit of my goal before it even gets out the gate. I give up. What's this say about me? Some would think it means that, deep down, I don't believe in that declaration of learning the skateboard. It could also mean that I lack confidence. Regardless, I turned my back on it.
Reaction #2: I ignore my friend. I go for it, but secretly and desperately seek their approval of it. Any kind of approval. Why am I doing this? Lack of confidence again, for sure. But also a half-assed attempt at my goal. I'm trying, but not really. Almost as if I'm trying for the sake of saying: "Hey, I tried."
Reaction #3: I go for it, but I try to rope my friends into doing it with me. Some come along for the ride, but they don't succeed, therefore I don't succeed. Ah, the group mentality fail. Another, "Hey, I tried," but this time it's with a "we". It's also a pseudo safety blanket. I cloak my wants and dreams in the warm, protective blanket of my friends. That way, I don't have to stick my neck out alone. I don't have to run the risk of being singled out and made fun of for falling off the board. (Sticking with that metaphor) And yes, check that lack of confidence box for this one as well. It's just hidden in another form.
Reaction #4: Self-sabotage. I go for it, but...I'm fearful of the success, because if I succeed that changes things. And change is scary. Change...changes things that I'm not used to being changed. (Yeah, this sounds silly, but true.) So very, very true.
These four reactions are familiar to me because I've lived them. And popular opinion is that your real reaction should be: "Screw you! I'm going for it." And yes, that's part of it. But it's an empty gesture if you don't do one simple thing. Work hard.
I didn't have an epiphany one late night where I pushed all my chips in the middle of the table and was like: "I'm all in. Let's do this." This was all gradual. What I did learn and understand more and more that no matter what path I take, the only way to take that path is with hard work. Doing the job. And believing in that. Believing in me. Believing in my choices, my decisions and my own ability to see this goal through.
Sometimes, the only difference between me and those who have achieved their goals is confidence.
If you have confidence in yourself and put the work in, no matter what your goal is, you won't be disappointed. Soon, you too, will master the skateboard.